In Love and War is a book of reconstructed memories. Written by a son trying to re-connect with his long dead father. It is driven by questions un-asked and opportunities missed. In the words of the author:
It is now thirty-six years since his death and listening to that extract from the film was what prompted me to try and reconstruct the man I neglected to know. In particular, I realise that I knew so little about the rest of his war, the part he never shared with me. I may know the story of his escape but so much else about what happened to him on the beaches of Dunkirk, the sands of North Africa and the arduous battle for Italy is a blank. I know the bare bones but none of the detail. And I was sadly ignorant about what happened to him in the two years after the war. These are very significant years for me. It was just after the war that he met my mother and then courted her for two years by letter. I was lucky enough to find the letters he wrote during that period and though them I can construct how this surprising passion and love eventually resulted in his marriage and my conception. So, this is a book about love and war.
There are some facts, some archive, a few second-hand recollections all mixed up with a great deal of imagination. It’s the best I can do. Perhaps it will help me to understand the father I never really got to know. I am trying to make sense of his legacy. As I now exceed his life span by ten years, I sense a growing affinity with the man. I am growing old as he grew old and progressively discovering how we reproduce more than we transform. I am my father’s son. It cannot be denied. I see his face in the mirror.
I have just finished reading this book, every word, which I found fascinating, remarkable, compelling and very very moving. Is there another book like it, I wonder.
I think the author has been very brave. He has hit upon a masterly form, from the beginning to hold the two time periods in balance. The present journey is as important as the journey back into time, and the letters on the Dreamliner a masterly invention to hold the two narratives together. It is indeed in the form of a quest, and we the readers have to stay with you. We are kept by the author's side, enthralled.
There can not be another book like it? . . . . . .BBC ‘Book of the week’ perhaps? but in ten instalments. It would read aloud so well, full of voice. But it is not just a tale, there is so much wisdom and exploration and honesty and insight in the writing, but that unfolds gradually so the author's journey is the reader’s journey too. The author is very kind and understanding, as well as astutely interesting.
It is also timely or ‘of our time’ with the text locking into the texts of our time, with the quotes and references. Not for nothing does our reading matter and provide the anchors and docks we need. The honesty and understanding about people emerges as the time moves on. Simon Clements
People brush suicide under the carpet, but it stays there. It has taken 40 years for Andrew Bethell to look it in the eye, but he has now written a brilliant book about the life and death of his handsome, attractive, admired and much-loved brother Robin. The author is wonderfully unafraid of words like drugs, madness, suicide, hanging. No euphemisms. Everyone who knows of a suicide will find themselves better equipped by all that they will have to think about as they read the book. Yes, of course, I am one of them too, and I find this a remarkably courageous, honest and restorative book. Alison Cobb
The first time I read this book, these were the words I jotted down.Haunting, interesting, beautifully written, brutally honest, thought-provoking, memory-stimulating — the experience was wonderful and has stayed with me, in my thoughts and my feelings, all the day long. PC. Maine USA
This site offers a variety of supplementary material related to Dearest Brother including facsimile examples from the many letters that are quoted in the text, photos from the family album, videos referred to in the text and art work that has been inspired by the search for Robin.
There is also a comment section for responses or queries.
